The Queue

In my aversion for Erap and his imminent plans for candidacy, I swallowed my political indifference and got myself registered. I am not proud of the fact that I’m a 27-year-old first-time voter but there never was compulsion to make the effort. Until now that is. Thank you Erap for making a better citizen out of me. If only for that, you have done a good thing. There maybe a million things wrong with this country but it doesn’t deserve to be internationally humiliated by having an ex-convict/reject for president (again). Not that I think my vote will tip the scales but whatever the outcome, at least I did what I could to keep this aberration from happening. Then again, there’s always Siberia.

Moving on…

The COMELEC registration nightmare was admittedly self-inflicted. I procrastinated to no end and was rightfully punished. We all know that being a Filipino citizen is synonymous to being a veteran of government-induced waiting. If you haven’t gone through it at some point in your adult life, it only means that A) you are a pampered offspring of some rich and powerful individual or B) you’ve been living under a rock. But let me just state this for those who are unaware: that was without a doubt the longest line I have ever had to suffer through…ever!

In the twelve hours or so I spent accomplishing this incredible test of fortitude, it dawned on me that all that was a tangible metaphor for life. You stand for hours in the sweltering heat waiting for your name to be called. You’re tired. You’re bored. Along the way, you make small talk with complete strangers just so you can find someone to commiserate with.

You go through Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief:

1. Denial – It couldn’t possibly be this long!

2. Anger - Stupid government can’t even get their act together! Are these people allergic to efficiency?

3. Bargaining – Oh please God, just let it move two feet. I promise I will never procrastinate again!

4. Depression - What’s the point of all this? This country is beyond help either way.

5. Acceptance – Screw it, I’ll just wait…

When it’s finally your turn, it takes five minutes and it’s all over. Then you drag your sorry carcass home.

After all is said and done, I know the Chinese have it worse. That makes me feel a little better. So that’s that. Next year I vote.

 

VOTE! Just NOT For Him!

I generally avoid soiling my blog with Philippine politics but this is simply outrageous. Browsing through the Inquirer website, I came across this article about Presidential hopeful Joseph Estrada (oh yes…that same one who insulted our collective intelligence. The one we rallied in the streets to oust not too long ago. Why he is even allowed out to wreak havoc, don’t ask).

This blew my top off. Here are his words of wisdom, my friends. And if after mulling it over, you still haven’t figured out why we are where we are, then you need to bang your head against the wall. Seriously.

MANILA, Philippines—Of five presidential aspirants who spoke Tuesday on how they intended to address poverty, only Joseph Estrada said “jueteng” should be legalized.

The ousted President said millions of families were benefiting from the illegal numbers game and that he favored legalizing it “until the time we find alternative jobs for our people.”

“I am not tolerating it but I am for the legalization of jueteng,” said Estrada, who was convicted of plunder in 2007 for accepting jueteng kickbacks but was quickly pardoned by President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

Surely you jest, sir!

I’m confused. You see, within the realm of reason when you say you do NOT tolerate something it usually means you will take drastic measures to curtail it. NOT LEGALIZE IT! And since when did jueteng become the only viable source of income? Is that the big solution? Let the country run amok because you can’t think of anything else to alleviate poverty?

How convenient is that by the way? Seeing as he did go to jail for that  same thing and all. Something’s askew, don’t you think?

Speaking of ousted presidents, at least Marcos had the decency to have a brain. He stole our money and plunged the country into debt but he didn’t add insult to injury by being completely tactless.

If this moron wins, I’m moving to Siberia.

 

The Harbinger

Captured by NASA Earth Observatory, September 30, 2009

Beautiful yet menacing. Kindda like the Sirens of Greek mythology. Or as Juno would put it, Diana Ross.

This is super typhoon Parma (locally known as Pepeng) as it heaves in the Southern Pacific cauldron and gets ready to give the Philippines another beating. Not one week and again we’re facing the battering ram. Although not expected to have as much rains as Ondoy, this one packs a punch with maximum sustained winds of over 200 kph. Take it from someone who grew up in the typhoon belt, that number is giving me the willies.

Say your prayers, take a deep breath and hunker down everyone. It’s going to be another bumpy weekend. Let’s hope it won’t turn into a reenactment of the The Day After Tomorrow (minus the snow). Disaster films should only be witnessed within the safe confines of the celluloid, not in real life.

**photo courtesy of NASA

 

Pinoy Resiliency At Its Finest!

I strongly encourage you to click the picture above. It is linked to a Facebook video posted by a Lemuel Espinol.  Personally, I have no idea who these people are but I found this so hilarious, I took it upon myself to give them as much free publicity as I can.

A classic example of that Pinoy just-laught-it-off attitude that sets us apart from the rest of the world. Which in a way ties in with my new motto “don’t get mad…get entertained.” Easier said than done but looks like these guys have it down to an art.

Kumakain pa ng chichirya. San ka pa lulugar! I love it, I love it, I love it!

 

She Came…She Saw…She Heaved

Travel log reads as follows:

February 21, 2009. Approximately 10:30 AM.

Location: Sumaging Cave, Sagada, Mountain Province.

Persons involved: Dan, sure-footed caving guide. Gela, friend from work. Myself, klutz extraordinaire.

Before us was a slightly damp rock formation that plummets into the earth at an almost 90 degree angle. The cave had its mouth agape, seemingly ready to gobble up feeble tourists by the truckload.  Beyond that, a dark void.  Very ominous. How and why I get myself into these things considering how traction-impaired I am is beyond me.

In a few minutes, Dan was done gassing his lamp and we were off. Already I was flipping through my mental rolodex for reasons to cut and run. Ok, maybe “run” is too liberal a term. More like grovel up the 50-odd steps that lead from the cave to the road above us. Even then, I’m sure the two would have caught me by the scruff of my neck before I got too far.

After an arduous descent we found ourselves slithering our way through shafts of limestone, rappelling down and splashing into pools of ice cold water. One very interesting fact about the place was that it was nicknamed the “porn cave” by the locals and we soon found out why. Alongside naturally sculpted elephants, snakes and what-nots were formations that unabashedly resembled…**coughs into her fist**…boy and girl parts. Seeing as we refuse to be labelled prudes, we had our pictures taken. Now we have something unique to educate the grandkids with.

After about two hours we finished all three stages of Sumaging and even opted to go beyond which involved squeezing through a small tunnel about two and a half feet in diameter. I am proud to report that despite huffing through the obstacle course and cutting circulation from Gela’s arms with my constant gripping, I emerged intact. Although as I approached the oncoming groups of tourists on the way out, I watched their expressions change from upbeat to apprehensive. Behold the foreboding guano-stained trainwreck, folks! Welcome to Sagada!

You can imagine how stiff we were in the morning. I never regarded stairs (or the low toilet seat for that matter) with as much derision as I did then. But I felt like a graduate. This klutz is no more.