I was watching an old Janeane Garofalo stand-up gig on YouTube from 1995 (I love her. She is my Druid). I suddenly felt a pang of nostalgia. You know what I think is the consummate, all-encompassing symptom of age? When you turn on MTV and you have no clue who or what you’re watching. If you muster enough patience to stick around for two minutes, you find yourself rolling your eyeballs at every ten-second interval. That’s twelve eyeball rolls. As Zafra so cleverly put it: Facercise!
I know. I’m 25. It’s ridiculous for me to even mention that. But in a few years, there will be kids who will see the 90s like we saw the 70s, so retro and far-out. I miss the 90s. That was my “home” era. I think everybody has one. That God-given decade of your youth that you subliminally get stuck in. I’m still on the look out for the return of grunge by the way. You know: loose rock concert T-shirt, long-sleeved flannel top, yellow stitched Docs and leather bracelets. You can imagine my disappointment at the mild 80s revival currently hitting the scene. No offense to the kids of that generation (No wait…I will not dress this up. Acid-washed denim anyone? Shoulder pads? Stun gun me). With grunge came sarcasm and rage. If it makes a comeback, I don’t even have to try. I’m already in.
Does anybody remember Nirvana? Pearl Jam? Silverchair (Clare. wink, wink)? Garbage? That series on RPN 9 My So-called Life with Claire Danes and this goofy-looking curly haired dude? There’s Something About Mary? Romy and Michelle’s Highschool Reunion? I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and will needlessly be informed of all the subsequent summers of your lifetime? No Doubt back when Gwen Stefanie wasn’t the über-famous have-my-own-clothing-line pop culture monstrosity she is now? Speaking of which, I saw them play the Don’t Speak video on classic MTV once. I froze in my seat. Classic MTV?!! Case in point. See paragraph 1, sentences 3 and 4.
Alanis “I’m going to decapitate you with my harmonica and ridiculously long hair” Morissette?
Whatever happened to them?
Yes, there was this big hoo-ha over the recent Spice Girls reunion but let’s face it. They’re in their 30s making music videos that are really just glorified lingerie ads. It’s not the same. Sporty Spice is now posh looking? Where are the backflips? And if for some far-flung reason, time becomes non-linear and they came out now as opposed to when I was 14 and gullible, I will go into my eyeball routine, no question.
Anyway, here’s to that decade. If only for the high-cut DMs, I will pray for a resurrection.
