Blunder To Ponder #1

Notice how in slasher films, a character’s IQ is directly proportional to the amount of time he/she is allowed to live. The lesser the brain activity, the quicker they are to meet their demise.

Why do you think Paris Hilton never made it to the finish line of the House of Wax?

So that must be the subliminal message posed by every single horror movie ever made albeit inadvertent. Kids, if you don’t want to be [figuratively] squelched by the garage door, invest in your mind.

Just a thought.

 

Faux Pas

I went over to set an appointment with my dentist the other day when I realized I was eating candy…in a dental clinic!

How sacrilegious. Like cussing in church or smoking in a cancer ward.

Just a thought.

**strip courtesy of Grimmy

 

Murdering Numbers

So here’s an addendum to my previous entry. Again, something I fished out of the free flowing office spam. These are from my kindred the world over who had the cojones to inject hilarity in failure. If only for their courage (or strident idiocy depending on how you want to see it) I doff my hat to them.

 

**Note: The Beached Bear would like to take credit for forwarding the email out of which the above images have been derived. There…there…Satisfied?

 

New Year, Shmoo Year

As mentioned a few months back, I am spending the holidays up in the frigid highlands. So far it’s been a nice break accentuated by the fact that I don’t have to clean poop (all roads lead back to my cat, don’t they?). The ignominious task has fallen squarely on the shoulders of the Post-It Queen who is having a grand ol’ time confronting one of her greatest fears: the dreaded litter box. Cue the Twilight Zone theme song, we’re having a ball!

I took advantage of the free WiFi in a restaurant in Session Road to throw in an entry before the year ends. I am very fastidious with my writing rituals and the hubbub is proving to be a big thinking impediment. So pardon me if I come across completely tangential.

Since this was intended to be a year-ender, I was hoping to enumerate some of the lessons imbibed in 2008. But considering my creative foibles, I will save that for later. Instead I will leave you with one of my great discoveries of late: Beer and Chocolate Cake…Try it! It’s fantastic! 

Happy New Year, folks! Lately I’ve been feeling strangely optimistic that 2009 will turn out to be far more interesting. Let’s hope I’m right.

 

Scarefest…NOT!

 

Nothing taints your favorite holiday like having to work when you’re supposed to be inebriated.

So to all of you free souls that are out and about on this All Hallow’s Eve, enjoy that swig of alcohol and hope that we won’t run into anything ghoulish or disconcerting…like say, a Republican victory (Shudder, shudder! Perish the thought!).

In an attempt to salvage whatever’s left of my festive spirit, I thought I’d leave a little salutation before I stop procrastinating.