In my aversion for Erap and his imminent plans for candidacy, I swallowed my political indifference and got myself registered. I am not proud of the fact that I’m a 27-year-old first-time voter but there never was compulsion to make the effort. Until now that is. Thank you Erap for making a better citizen out of me. If only for that, you have done a good thing. There maybe a million things wrong with this country but it doesn’t deserve to be internationally humiliated by having an ex-convict/reject for president (again). Not that I think my vote will tip the scales but whatever the outcome, at least I did what I could to keep this aberration from happening. Then again, there’s always Siberia.

Moving on…

The COMELEC registration nightmare was admittedly self-inflicted. I procrastinated to no end and was rightfully punished. We all know that being a Filipino citizen is synonymous to being a veteran of government-induced waiting. If you haven’t gone through it at some point in your adult life, it only means that A) you are a pampered offspring of some rich and powerful individual or B) you’ve been living under a rock. But let me just state this for those who are unaware: that was without a doubt the longest line I have ever had to suffer through…ever!

In the twelve hours or so I spent accomplishing this incredible test of fortitude, it dawned on me that all that was a tangible metaphor for life. You stand for hours in the sweltering heat waiting for your name to be called. You’re tired. You’re bored. Along the way, you make small talk with complete strangers just so you can find someone to commiserate with.

You go through Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief:

1. Denial – It couldn’t possibly be this long!

2. Anger - Stupid government can’t even get their act together! Are these people allergic to efficiency?

3. Bargaining – Oh please God, just let it move two feet. I promise I will never procrastinate again!

4. Depression - What’s the point of all this? This country is beyond help either way.

5. Acceptance – Screw it, I’ll just wait…

When it’s finally your turn, it takes five minutes and it’s all over. Then you drag your sorry carcass home.

After all is said and done, I know the Chinese have it worse. That makes me feel a little better. So that’s that. Next year I vote.