And I will keep true to the title of this post. Due to my ongoing verbal constipation, I will temporarily cop out from writing 2000-word epics. But here’s a recount of the utterly useless (yet slightly amusing) things I’ve encountered this week:
…Curious as to what’s playing on my company’s foreclosure department wait music songlist? It is, I’m sorry to say, the Backstreet Boys’ single Quit Playing Games with My Heart. Interesting choice of muzak. The message being, “while waiting on hold to know if you’re getting kicked out of house and home, allow us to entertain you with Nick Carter’s nasal crooning.” Doesn’t inspire much confidence.
…EDSA billboard alert #1: Dingdong Dantes’s Bench ads are getting raunchier by the hour. The one near the MRT Guadalupe Station is of particular interest. He is featured laying with his legs sprawled wide open wearing nothing but a pair of Bench underwear. With that we can clearly perceive that the euphemism of his first name does not duplicate itself on the piece of clothing he dons. Incidentally, the billboard is not 200 meters away from the San Carlos Seminary. Can I just say, I love this city. There’s never a dull moment.
…EDSA billboard alert #2: Another one advertising cosmetic enhancement. In block letters it quotes, “Because no woman over 21 should look her age.” I took offense in that for some reason. But I think the intensity of resentment felt over the ad is directly proportional to the number of years passed since the age it specified.
…Most common symptom of boredom: entry topics centered on signage passed on the way home from work.
…Funny cab story courtesy of a friend at work: On her way home, she remembers to say her prayers. She instantly does the sign of the cross. Cab driver notices and seeing that she has her IPod earphones on, assumes she would not hear him. He radios in to his dispatcher, “Ang labo nitong sakay kong Koreana (She’s not Korean). Nagdadasal pero andito naman kami sa tapat ng malls.”
…Went shopping for snorkeling equipment. At the store, I inquired as to whether they had the masks in adult sizes (as opposed to the junior set hanging on the shelf in front of me). The saleslady replies a curt “Out of stock na po ma’am.” I turned my head two degrees to my right and there hanged a truck load of adult snorkeling masks. Saleslady disappears (perhaps at the realization of her blunder. But we can’t really say for sure). There is an ongoing debate over who gets awarded the gold medal for idiocy.
