It’s funny how we all think alike. For instance, whenever I run into people I have’nt seen in a long time, they will most likely ask me these questions in this particular order:
1. Kumusta ka na? (english translation: how have you been?). Strangely enough, I find myself using this exact same phrase every time: “eto, buhay pa rin“. Pretty soon, I will realize that I have said it to everybody in my entire social circle and will be compelled to come up with something new….Again,let me state this for the record: Oh joy.
After recovering from the initial shock over the fact that Manila has 10,330,100 inhabitants (this true by the way, I googled it to escape any criticism over my accuracy) and we meet at that particular date and time, they will then proceed to the next question:
2. Saan ka na ngayon? (this is a bit challenging to translate as it literally means “where are you now”. By now you will realize how absurd it is because obviously I am standing right in front of that person). To this I will go into a lengthy explanation over my current status as a household pest and why I literally ran screaming from my previous employer.
Then I will brace myself for the last question which is the hardest to answer:
3. Ano na balak mo? (what are your plans?) to which I will reply “hindi ko alam“, in english “I have no idea”. They will then give me a puzzled look. I know I am bored out of my mind. Also, the fact that I have memorized the theme song to Spongebob Squarepants has eliminated any possibility potential employers will ever see me as a levelheaded individual hasn’t inspired much confidence (by the way, I included it to my list of underrated talents right next to juggling oranges and accumulating dust). I nevertheless try to explain that this past month, I have come up with a new science called “boredom management” which enables me to have fun while staring at a blank wall. They become even more puzzled. That would be my cue to stop talking.
One more thing I noticed about people I meet for the first time is their ability to enumerate every war-torn eastern European country in an effort to guess my roots. So here it is…For the last time…I AM NOT RUSSIAN.
