So I started poring over these here yellowing pages yesterday. After years of sitting on the shelf, I thought this would be as good a time as any to fish it out. It’s a pretty easy read, syntax-wise. Holden Caulfield was, for the large part, just spewing out 40s slang and expletives. It doesn’t try to bamboozle you with big “phony” words in an effort to inject some philosophical meaning to it all. It simply serves the conflict out straight and leaves it up to you the rest of the way.

I must say that even though I am reading it now as an adult, I find I can still relate to most of what an adolescent boy is saying.

This is my favorite part in the whole book:

When I was all set to go, when I had my bags and all, I stood for a while next to the stairs and took a last look down the goddamn corridor. I was sort of crying. I don’t know why. I put my red hunting hat on, and turned the peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I yelled at the top of my goddamn voice, “Sleep tight, ya morons!” I’ll bet I woke up every bastard in the whole floor. Then I got the hell out.

I am severely tempted to try that sometime.

The reclusive author of The Catcher In the Rye dies of natural causes.

Read more: J.D. Salinger Dies at 91: The Hermit Crab of American Letters

Now that he’s joined the literary Valhalla, who’s going to slap lawsuits on those hacks churning out cheap sequels to the Rye?

***

In honor of his life, I plan to dig up my old, mouldy copy of the Catcher In The Rye and read it again this weekend. When I first heard of his death, I mentioned it to practically everyone I encountered that day. Many of them didn’t even know who he was. That’s sad. Even more than the death itself.

4:39:26 AM Jane Time check!
4:39:37 AM Jane I’m bored
4:39:43 AM Jane and about to create
4:39:50 AM Jane the next best selling novel
4:39:59 AM Jane while talking to myself at work.
4:40:04 AM Jane - Time check!
4:40:16 AM Jane - I like these chat timestamps
4:40:35 AM Jane - They let you know exactly where you are in that particular moment you hit the enter button.
4:40:39 AM Jane - Right now
4:40:45 AM Jane - I am at 4:40
4:40:56 AM Jane - In about an hour and twenty minutes
4:41:00 AM Jane - I can leave
4:41:03 AM Jane and go home
4:41:10 AM Jane to sleep
4:41:12 AM Jane or smoke
4:41:18 AM Jane or watch a movie even
4:41:39 AM Jane or maybe go online and do absolutely nothing of importance.
4:41:47 AM Jane - Maybe write a new entry on my blog
4:41:59 AM Jane or maybe this is the blog entry.
4:42:20 AM Jane - Maybe I can just paste this whole thing
4:42:32 AM Jane and pass it off as something profound
4:42:39 AM Jane like many things these days
4:42:52 AM Jane - some people keep passing themselves off as “deep”
4:42:55 AM Jane when in fact
4:43:04 AM Jane they’re just being trite or idiotic…
4:43:10 AM Jane or pathetic.
4:43:19 AM Jane I try not to be pathetic.
4:43:25 AM Jane I try…at least. But sometimes I just am.
4:43:39 AM Jane - Time check! This is taking forever!!!
4:43:44 AM Jane - Time passes on it’s own terms.
4:43:49 AM Jane It doesn’t care whether you’re bored
4:43:52 AM Jane or excited
4:44:00 AM Jane or itching to be someplace else
4:44:16 AM Jane - It just moves along unperturbed.
4:44:40 AM Jane completely disconnected from anyone or anything
4:44:50 AM Jane I sometimes wish I could be like that,
4:45:20 AM Jane just go along with a single-minded indifference
4:45:36 AM Jane but people were not wired that way unfortunately.
4:45:50 AM Jane - We get stopped and we get swayed in different directions.
4:46:00 AM Jane - Often we get coaxed into doing things
4:46:08 AM Jane we normally wouldn’t.
4:46:19 AM Jane - Sometimes we don’t think of the consequence
4:46:22 AM Jane - We just do.
4:46:35 AM Jane - And then pay later.
4:47:23 AM Jane - Everyday, we break into pieces and then glue them back again
4:47:30 AM Jane - Sometimes instantly.
4:47:44 AM Jane - Sometimes we spend our entire lives trying to mend ourselves.
4:47:54 AM Jane - Sometimes we stop trying.
4:48:03 AM Jane - Specially when we get daunted.
4:49:05 AM Jane - Little creatures enslaved by life, by others, by our upbringing, by our genes.
4:50:58 AM Jane - It’s all so confusing.
4:52:47 AM Jane I hate the thought of being corralled.
4:52:53 AM Jane - If only I could be like these timestamps.
4:53:13 AM Jane - The way they cannot be made to go faster or slower.
4:53:21 AM Jane But when you think about it,
4:53:41 AM Jane It’s nothing more than human conjecture.
4:53:54 AM Jane Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Days.
4:54:21 AM Jane It was the one thing created by humanity
4:54:33 AM Jane that cannot be controlled..at all.
4:54:47 AM Jane I think it’s beautiful.
4:55:05 AM JaneAnd you want to know something else I think is beautiful?
4:55:23 AM Jane The fact that I’ve wasted all this time typing random things on my screen
4:55:39 AM Jane and made it look like I’m working on something urgent.
4:56:22 AM Jane Now that I have “killed” time, I have four minutes to go before the hour
4:56:35 AM Jane and I can go on my cigarette break
4:57:02 AM Jane stare into space and think of nothing in particular.
4:57:18 AM Jane maybe watch the white puffs of smoke float away from me
4:57:35 AM Jane - maybe have a conversation
4:57:37 AM Jane with someone
4:57:43 AM Jane if someone happens to be there
4:57:53 AM Jane that I know and would actually want to talk to.
4:58:32 AM Jane The rest of the time, I ignore.
4:58:39 AM Jane Pretend I didn’t see
4:58:58 AM Jane when in fact I did and just didn’t feel like small talk.
4:59:05 AM Jane - Ever get that feeling where all you really want is to be ignored?
4:59:21 AM Jane - I’d better go now.
4:59:32 AM Jane - In less than an hour I will be free to go home.
4:59:39 AM Jane maybe not as free as I’d like to be.
4:59:55 AM Jane but free in a way that humans are allowed,
5:00:07 AM Jane - Within the confines of our daily lives.
5:00:18 AM Jane - It’s all so ironic.
5:00:21 AM Jane - Good-bye!

Anyone care to guess where this is? A pat on the shoulder will go out to the person who gets it right. Sorry folks, I’m too destitute to give out an actual prize. If you do win this game, consider yourself a well-informed individual.

Here’s a hint: It’s closer to home than you’d think.

This morning I sat staring at a blinking cursor. I was clear out of material but at the same time felt that I was overdue for a new entry. So finally after half an hour I gave up and decided to do something productive. I started cleaning the apartment. I did the dishes, swept the floor, cleaned my cat’s litter box (not for the faint-hearted) and took out the trash.  And as if the Forces That Be took pity on my having writer’s block infection, it decided to give me a writing prompt. Of course, in accordance with everything else in my life, the material was served wrapped neatly in that lovely gossamer we generally refer to as aggravation.

So anyway, I was down at the garbage shoot disposing trash. I walked back to my door and casually twisted the knob. It was stuck. I tried again. The thing would not budge. I could’ve sworn on my life I left it unlocked when I stepped out. I thought, “Excellent! I’m out here and the only other person in the apartment who has opposable thumbs is asleep. Note to self: train cat to unlock doors by command.”

Naturally, my first instinct was to ring the doorbell like crazy and hope that it would wake up my roommate. Fifteen minutes later, my forefinger is worn down to a stub and still there was no sign of life.

I mulled over my situation. Here I am locked out of my own apartment dressed in an old t-shirt and a pair of shorts (thank goodness I was wearing a bra or this would have been exponentially more difficult). My hair is completely dishevelled. Not having showered yet, I reeked like a dock worker after a long day. I had no money and had nothing in my pocket but the plastic bag I used to dispose of some bottles earlier. Hmmm…What would McGyver do? With a plastic bag? Not much.

Then I thought I’d do away with my dignity and went to see if anyone at the building administration office could help me. The elevator ride was interesting. There was an old lady there who gave me a strange look. I positioned myself in the corner farthest away from her so as not to give her an olfactory assault. The last thing I need right now is a complaint from a senior citizen with regards to my hygiene.

At the office, I asked to borrow a cell phone to see if maybe my roommate would pick up. The admin assistant was nice enough to let me use his. After calling multiple times with no answer, I had to give that up too. I was afraid I might use up his battery and it wouldn’t be fair to extend my misfortune to others.

So I went back and tried the doorbell again. An eternity elapsed when finally I heard the bedroom door open. Salvation!

After being let in, I was asked what the hell happened. Well, I cleaned the apartment and was chastised for it. Good news is I no longer have a blank screen.

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