Blitzkrieged!

I think I might’ve surpassed the current world record for the most number of mishaps in a 48 hour span.

It starts with the fact that I’m completely destitute. Everytime I come within a 2 mile radius, the ATMs start making strange gurgling noises. Then I find out too late that a trip to the mall in this state is a flagellation all on its own. To keep from getting buried in more debt, I had to repeatedly remind myself (and Chrissie with whom I suffered the flagellation) that our lives will not come to an abrupt end if we decided against buying this corduroy pillow case or that bathroom rug. Notice how capitalism’s iron hand becomes increasingly flagrant when you’re a financial cripple. Believe me, it’s there. It just becomes more transparent when you have money to burn.

Of course,  dear ol’ Murphy wasn’t content with that. Sunday morning we woke up to find all the sockets in the living room short-circuited. The internet went down for the Nth time. And for the Nth time I had to call and listen to my ISP’s insipid muzak. The elevator went berzerk and thought it would be hilarious to make a stop at every floor in the building. The washing machine decided to stage a coup. My MP3 player refuses to turn on even after a fresh battery change. On top of everything else, I have a stack of laundry, a clogged drain, a busted kitchen sink, required overtime at the office, 15 flights of stairs from my floor to where I won’t be late for work, traffic, cab drivers (don’t get me started on them), and a fabulous all-expense paid trip to the seventh circle of hell.

I have it down to an art, really. When it rains, it not only pours but summons the horsemen of the apocalypse to lead the great household appliance mutiny of 2008.

I’m sure the pundits will agree that this onslaught of misfortune builds character….I wonder if it’s the kind that makes you consider buying a two-barrel shotgun on your next payday.

 

How Murphy Saved Juan de la Cruz

A fine example of Pinoy ingenuity if there ever was one. If at this point you’re still squinting at the object in the picture, that ladies and gentlemen is a homemade pizza carton sound mixer. A slice of genius from my friend Bob. I was chatting with him the other day and he wanted me to see his latest acquisition from Pizza Hut Technolgies Inc. Mind you, the tracks that resulted from this Mcgyvering are impeccably clear, no difference whatsoever from those recorded at a professional studio.

This reminded me of something mentioned in passing by a friend who happens to be a nursing student. She said that the one thing that sets Filipino health care workers apart from their counterparts abroad is that they can work with practically no available equipment. If they didn’t have oxygen masks, they’d cut up a mineral water bottle and attach the tube to the neck.

Leave it to us to make something useful out of what the First World classifies as junk.

I am now convinced that in the event of a technological cataclysm, we’d be one of the last ones standing. Wouldn’t be such a big change when daily life already is reminiscent of a Survivor episode.

So I’d say leave Murphy’s law to wreak havoc! It builds creativity.

 

Staying In My Living Room

Good call staying put for the day. It took an argument and a half for me not to storm to Ultra to watch the game. To give a brief background, there is an ongoing curse hovering over my head. This “balat sa puwet” thing started back in college for some inexplicable reason. I tried everything short of offering eggs at the Monestaryo de Santa Clara to shake it off. Still, years later, I have never seen an Ateneo victory live.

Somehow my presence, out of thousands, manages to tip the scales to our disadvantage. Considering that our chances are looking up this year, I’m drilling a hole in my sofa and gluing my rear end to it. Wouldn’t want that cancer-causing ray of negative energy to escape from my building and waft over to whatever sports venue the game happens to be in.

In the meantime, good job Rabah! Finally getting out there and playing ball! To clarify, I don’t have a thing for this guy. We’ve been on the look out for good centers for a long time now. Will he be it, I wonder? Needs to improve on the accuracy of that hook shot though. And I wish he would beat the habit of looking to Nonoy Baclao to come in and do the job for him.

3-0 and on top of the heap. I’m high-fiving while I can.

 

Buzz Kill For Cab Junkies

In an effort to implement a reasonable adjustment, the LTFRB is rolling out an increased fare matrix. This we had coming for a long time. To quote from an article in the Inquirer the other day:

In a text message, LTFRB Chairman Thompson Lantion said the new fare of P10 kilometers and P1.95 for each succeeding kilometer for regular buses, and P12 for the first five kilometers and P2.35 for the succeeding kilometers for air-conditioned buses, can be charged on receiving the new fare matrix.

Jeepneys nationwide can charge the new fare of P8.50 for the first four kilometers and P1.50 for each succeeding kilometer on Monday, July 14.

Taxis can begin charging a P10 “add on rate” 15 days after receiving their stickers, Lantion said.

Buzz kill on the last paragraph. What do they mean by a P10 “add on rate”? Is this on top of the arbitrary ”add on rates” cab drivers have  been exacting from passengers for the past…oh, I don’t know…two decades maybe?

When government agencies begin allowing cryptic rates, I start shifting nervously. Especially when I happen to be in the backseat of a cab.

Also, since when did text messaging turn into a viable alternative to good old fashioned one-on-one interviews?

 

Season 71 Tip Off

Excellent 79-73 win last Sunday. This is after much taunting, face-slapping, ball-kicking and foul after foul after foul. Only the best from an Ateneo-La Salle tug-of-war. Thank goodness we seem to be better at the charity line.

It is taking all my will power to not gloat. After all, karma is digital. Imperically speaking the UAAP pendulum is not just known for swinging both ways. It also has a tendency to run amok, swing in all possible directions before arriving at unbelievably disappointing conclusions. Last season, ADMU finished third after beating DLSU 3 out 5 times, foolishy losing a twice to beat advantage at a very crucial game. And that loss to NU?! Oi! 

The Red Warriors went on a clean 13-0 run to the finals. They seemed iron-clad until the green shirts snatched the championship from under them in the last two games of the season. I remember sitting in my livingroom slack jawed and incredibly annoyed.

Here’s a philosphy I will live by this season: root for any team able and willing to deflate Rico Maierhofer’s machismo balloon. May we collectively implore the high heavens for that boy to discover a little something we like to call humility.

Rabah, for Pete’s sake, stop it with the random perimeter shots already! Your killing us, seriously. And that rookie Ryan Buenafe will do great things, I feel it in my phalanges.

I smell a forthcoming season of bloodshed. I say we bring it.

Halikinu!!